Friday, September 22, 2006

I'm an Islamophobic...


No kidding.

The Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR), a known supporter of jihadism and a front group for financing terrorism, puts the blame squarely on the Internet and talk radio for anti-Islamic sentiment and what it claims are harassment and violence directed at Muslims.

My comments there:

“Hi, my name is Al. I’m an islamophobic. It’s been two days since my last hate crime against an islamic. I asked the flight attendant why all those funny-sounding bearded people were talking on their cells phones all at once…”

“Hi, Al. Welcome to islamaphobics anonymous. Tell us your story.”

“Well, I’m just obsessed with these people because they’re so… different. You know, they go to church or Friday, NOT Sunday, and they talk funny and drive cabs really fast. But that’s not why I’m afraid of them…”

“Why are you afraid, Al?”

“Well, it’s just that they seem so… pushy. They want to be able to pray five times a day, f*ck little girls and boys (and goats), beat all four of their wives, drive over joooos with their SUVs, and buy lots of cell phones to raise money for their charities. And that whole thing about wanting to establish a worldwide government, and make us all join them, that’s got me just a little leery of liking them.”

“And it just seems there’s no talking to them. I mean, our Holy Father quotes somthing from some guy from centuries ago, and they seem to fly off the handle. And God, can’t they take a joke? Those cartoons were hilarious. Ha. Ha. That Mo (PBUH), he’s a real card.”

“And then, I see on that racist Fox News channel that they raided another one of their charities because they’re financing terrorists.”

“And Glenn and Rush and Debbie Schlussel, that hot jooo from Detroit, and Michelle Malkin, that hot oriental chick, just tell us how much we should watch out for these people. And that Robert Spencer, that guy who’s spent his entire life studying islam and arabic, he seems to think that they want to kill us. All of us.”

“Gee, I’m not sure why, but I just believe them, particularly since ALMOST EVERY MAJOR TERRORIST EVENT SINCE THE MID-70′S IS THE RESULT OF ISLAMIC JIHAD.”

“I guess I’m just a racist. Please, help me…”

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